Lately, I have realized that I have been going to confession more frequently. Usually once a week but sometimes twice in one week. The more I go, the more I realize I have to confess. There is a war going on right now for my soul. Each time I give in to sin, that is one battle lost. Each time I overcome a sin, it is a battle won.
One of the things I struggle with very often is forgiveness. Don't worry, it's no secret I keep just in the confession booth, a few friends and family members know this as well. I used to believe that to forgive someone, meant I had to love them. The thing is, I have it all backwards. Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself. By forgiving, I receive the grace to love that person.
But, it doesn't mean I have to like them. I am not required to like the man who hurt me, the friend who betrayed me, nor the stranger who whispers rumors about me in the halls. Nor I am required or expected to forget, the memories of pain do fade with time but may never be forgotten. I am, however, required to treat each person as Christ would, with kindness. It's a difficult lesson to learn and a trial to put into practice. Especially when a person has hurt you deeply with physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. In fact, the loving thing for any person who is being abused in any manner, is to leave. God wants us to love and take care of ourselves too, however not to the point where we become vain, for that is a sin. By staying in an abusive relationship, people hurt themselves and unfortunately do not love themselves either.
Forgiving is letting go so that I (or you) can move forward in life and grow in relationship with Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. Guess what? I'm afraid to do that because I don't want, ever again, to like the people who have hurt me at any point in my life. And I most certainly don't feel like being nice to them. It is totally normal for a person to feel this way. Nevertheless, it is not good for our souls. If we hold on to that pain which has been inflicted upon us, it hurts us more than the other person. The only way to hurt less is to let go.
Honestly, this isn't easy for me. I think that somewhere, deep down inside, I feel that I can punish the person for hurting me by holding onto the pain. Silly me. I have to try to forgive others daily until I feel that I have finally let go of the pain they caused, and sometimes it comes back, so I have to try to forgive again. That can take a few days, months, or even years. Yet, with all this struggle to forgive, comes healing. The grace that covers me because I choose to forgive, helps me to love.
So, how does one forgive? Prayer and a conscious effort to let go. I found the following prayer both at Catholic.org and faithfulcatholicfriends.org
One of the things I struggle with very often is forgiveness. Don't worry, it's no secret I keep just in the confession booth, a few friends and family members know this as well. I used to believe that to forgive someone, meant I had to love them. The thing is, I have it all backwards. Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself. By forgiving, I receive the grace to love that person.
But, it doesn't mean I have to like them. I am not required to like the man who hurt me, the friend who betrayed me, nor the stranger who whispers rumors about me in the halls. Nor I am required or expected to forget, the memories of pain do fade with time but may never be forgotten. I am, however, required to treat each person as Christ would, with kindness. It's a difficult lesson to learn and a trial to put into practice. Especially when a person has hurt you deeply with physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. In fact, the loving thing for any person who is being abused in any manner, is to leave. God wants us to love and take care of ourselves too, however not to the point where we become vain, for that is a sin. By staying in an abusive relationship, people hurt themselves and unfortunately do not love themselves either.
Forgiving is letting go so that I (or you) can move forward in life and grow in relationship with Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. Guess what? I'm afraid to do that because I don't want, ever again, to like the people who have hurt me at any point in my life. And I most certainly don't feel like being nice to them. It is totally normal for a person to feel this way. Nevertheless, it is not good for our souls. If we hold on to that pain which has been inflicted upon us, it hurts us more than the other person. The only way to hurt less is to let go.
Honestly, this isn't easy for me. I think that somewhere, deep down inside, I feel that I can punish the person for hurting me by holding onto the pain. Silly me. I have to try to forgive others daily until I feel that I have finally let go of the pain they caused, and sometimes it comes back, so I have to try to forgive again. That can take a few days, months, or even years. Yet, with all this struggle to forgive, comes healing. The grace that covers me because I choose to forgive, helps me to love.
So, how does one forgive? Prayer and a conscious effort to let go. I found the following prayer both at Catholic.org and faithfulcatholicfriends.org
To Forgive: Prayer for the Strength to Forgive
Faultless Lord, enduring death for me,
You have consummated the debt of my sins:
Your sacrifice of forgiveness was absolute!
Grant me the strength to also forgive others,
To excuse their transgressions against me.
So I may truly reflect this spiritual fruit,
Obliterate any persistent feelings of malice.
Let each trespass end as a closing chapter,
My continuing on the road of righteousness.
Forgive my sins as I aspire to forgive others.
You are truly archetypical of forgiveness.
You are a most forgiving Lord
You have consummated the debt of my sins:
Your sacrifice of forgiveness was absolute!
Grant me the strength to also forgive others,
To excuse their transgressions against me.
So I may truly reflect this spiritual fruit,
Obliterate any persistent feelings of malice.
Let each trespass end as a closing chapter,
My continuing on the road of righteousness.
Forgive my sins as I aspire to forgive others.
You are truly archetypical of forgiveness.
You are a most forgiving Lord
Amen
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you don't have more followers. This stuff is beutiful. For me, forgiveness is the biggest source of pain relief I can get. I do have a problem forgiving myself for mistakes and sins. Along time ago, a monk asked me why I had trouble with this when I knew that God had forgiven me in confession. He also told me that if I did not understand why God allowed a painful event to happen,(like a death of a friend) that I should forgive God. That monk helped me a lot. I have grown in my trusting and understanding of God, so I accept His will now,(I don't have to forgive Him)but I still have trouble not getting mad at myself. Please don't ever stop blogging!
Paul
I have quite a few friends who have told me they read my blog, they just bookmark it or something instead of following. :)
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, though, that you're lucky to be able to go to confession so frequently. One of the great problems in the Austin Diocese is that many of the priests--in particular the Paulists--tell us not to go so frequently. It's a battle I and some friends have had with some of them, because many charge scrupulosity; though many of the saints went to confession far more frequently.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's a great prayer at the end!