I never realized how protected I would be by consciously choosing to enter into the desert. I went deeper and deeper into to prayer, and my time in Adoration became more intimate and meaningful.
For the better part of the last 3.5 years I have struggled with reading the Bible, praying on a regular basis, and trusting God in all things... even as He was drawing me closer to Him every day. For those of you who are just beginning this journey, learning to have faith in God, believe me when I say I know how hard it is, but if you are vigilant... every moment is worth it. All the pain, suffering, joys, sorrows, laughter, successes, tears, loneliness.... every emotion you could possibly imagine. This journey is worth it!!!
So I just got back from taking the second TOB II course in PA with Christopher West as my instructor. Let me tell you, it was amazing!
While I was in the desert, I felt as if God were preparing me for something great. I didn't know for sure what that 'great' thing was, but I knew it was coming. The Lord spoke some incredible things to me the Sunday prior to Christmas, and then, two days later, He called me out of the desert. I think I was a bit shell-shocked. Then, on New Year's Day, I flew out to PA for the class/retreat.
The Lord was taking me deeper, into a more intimate relationship with Him. He helped me to get to know my Mother a little better. I met some of the most incredible people in the world (love you guys!!). But most important, He healed me. There was a wound, so deep within me that was reaching every corner of my life and stained it all black. It was ugly, but it wasn't me. And the Lord took it away, cleaning the wound ever so carefully and planted something beautiful in it's place... Me.
I have learned that we humans are desiring beings, that my desires are good, but have been twisted by the lies this world offers. If I take my desires to the foot of the cross, I will discover my true desires, in all their goodness, truth, and beauty. I also began learning true humility. Acknowledging the gifts I have been given and thanking God for them.
I know this blog was all over the place, but I have so much to tell and so little time! If you have any questions for me, please comment and I will try to answer it in another blog. Thank you for reading!
