A New Chapter

I am hoping to finally get back to blogging the way I used to.

My life is not what I planned it would be.  It's filled with many disappointments and suffering.  There is a constant battle between desire to surrender to God or to throw a pity party and resort to coping mechanisms.  Only, now the desire to let God be in charge is starting to win.  Thank GOD.

I have been married for about 2.5 years and have a 20 month old daughter.  From my perspective, I was thrown into marriage and parenthood rather quickly and have limped along since.  My spiritual life has suffered the most, with prayer and devotion to the Blessed Sacrament being put on the back burner almost entirely.  And when praying did happen (which was almost daily), it was with a bad attitude and not even half-hearted.

At last (2.5 years later...), I have reached my breaking point.  No more bare minimum faith.  No more avoidance of a prayer life.  No more blaming my 'situation'.  

Recently, I watched the movie War Room (excellent movie!), which was given to me by my husband (he had no idea he was opening Pandora's Box...).  It forced me to look at my life and realize, "I am Elizabeth".  No... I'm not referring to myself, the main character in the movie is also named Elizabeth.  Coincidence? I don't think so.  I was drawn to the idea of creating a "war room" of my own and praying there, for myself, my husband, daughter and anyone or anything else that God put on my heart.

I live in a tiny house.  Where on earth could I create a prayer space?  The closets weren't big enough (image that, my closets are so small that I can't create a prayer space within...), and it seemed every corner of the house was filled.  Finally it dawned on me.  There is a 2-3 foot wide walking space between my bed and the wall.  So I slid my night stand out of the corner about 4 feet and voilà!  I had a prayer space that my child can't get into.

There I placed journals, inspirational books, a Bible, and a half cork board - half white board to write notes and scriptures on.  I haven't used it a ton, but it has given me more motivation than I have had in about 3 years or so.  

Wives, I encourage you to do the same.  In upcoming posts, I will talk about spiritual warfare in marriage, suffering, and much more.  Please stay tuned, and if you want to hear more on a particular topic, let me know. 

God Bless you all.

I Found Me!

A key to unlock the door to the past. A person to bring that past into my present. An experience to change my life. And now... I'm left feeling like it never happened. So how do I tap back into that? Prayer? Community? Holy Spirit power? ;) Prayer for others. That's it. Putting others before myself, serving as I was created to do.

Right now, I am praying for someone very dear to me. This person means everything to me. I pray for God to give him the grace to receive the mercy, forgiveness and salvation which is meant for him. It is bittersweet, knowing that I can't play an active roll in bringing him to Christ. However, it is pure sweetness to offer sacrifice through fasting for his sake. Have you ever tried fasting the right way? It's extremely rewarding. Here, check out this awesome scripture passage which explains it perfectly:

Isaiah 58:3-9
'Why have we fasted, and thou seest it not?
Why have we humbled ourselves, and thou takest no knowledge of it?' 
Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure, and oppress all your workers.
Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to hit with wicked fist.
Fasting like yours this day will not make your voice to be heard on high.
Is such the fast that I choose, a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it to bow down his head like a rush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him?
Will you call this a fast, and a day acceptable to the Lord?

"Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, Here I am."

So... what did this teach me? I know that there is a lot of reference to things we don't do anymore, like wearing sackcloth and ashes... But often, we don't understand what fasting is really supposed to be like. This passage, and a very good friend of mine, explained the truth about fasting. You can't fast and say a few prayers or just your normal prayers. Fasting is one of two things: 1) Starvation or 2) Prayer.

Let me explain. Through my hunger (during a fast), I realized just how much my life depends upon what God has given me. He has provided me with a job to pay my bills so I can have a warm home, food, and transportation (along with many other things). My hungry stomach also made me realize that I am not just physically hungry, but spiritually hungry. Just as my body longed for nourishment, so too does my soul yearn for the nourishment, which only our Lord can provide.

Through this fasting, which I did for my dear friend, I have grown in trust and patience. Just a little. Hopefully, it is affecting the person I'm praying for, at least as much as it is affecting me. For this I pray. And I pray that you will try fasting, it is an incredible experience. If you have any questions or need any other helpful tips to get you through your fast, please do not hesitate to ask. I am learning just as much as you are. God Bless!

Your Way

I walk this road alone, cut deep by the knife of life. I choose to live this way, to cause my own suffering. I don't have to, but somehow, I have convinced myself that this is the way You would want it. That somehow, this sacrifice of mine will get me to You. But it won't. Am I still sabotaging myself? Lord, what are you going to do with me? There are so many things I try to do on my own, so many ways I try to prepare myself. It is all for naught. What You ask of me is simple, made just for me. All my own efforts are fruitless and often take me further from You. I have discovered the path which You ask all of us to travel, yet manage to get off it because I think I know a better way, a "short-cut" you might say. Who made me god? And what makes me think that I can figure out a way to You better than You can lead me to the One Way You have already established?

1. Frequent the sacraments
   1. Mass
   2. Confession
2. Pray
3. Read The Word

It's all there, laid out like a map. However, none of this matters if it is not approached with an open heart. Opening your heart to the Lord is not easy. I always feel that, when I put my heart out there, I am about to get hurt. With man (humanity), that is true, due to the fall of man, we often hurt each other when we lay our hearts out. But God won't hurt us, ever. That being said, we must invite the Lord into our hearts, to see the ugliness of our souls. We must choose to allow Him to enter in, otherwise, He will always remain knocking on the outside. He waits for us, longs for us, loves us. Jesus wants to heal our ugliness and make us beautiful.

So make the decision today to open your heart to the Lord. Tell Him you want Him in your heart and life. Jesus will pour out His Grace and Strength to see you through, no matter how difficult your life may seem. He stands by us, holds and comforts us, leads us to victory. If you choose to open your heart to Him, remember... Jesus wins in the end! Give your heart to Him and you join the winning team!

Novena to have an open heart to the Lord:

Lord work on my heart
until it becomes like your Sacred Heart.
Give me hope.
Then I can love you and all my sisters and brothers
with the respect, compassion, and forgiveness
that you have for everyone. I ask this in your name. Amen.

I ask you to grant my special request during this novena:
( - make your intention here - ) .

If what I ask is not for my own good
and the good of others,
grant me what will most help
to build up your kingdom of justice, love and peace.
I make this prayer with confidence in your love.
Amen

What does God want us to know about our bodies?

Somehow, we have come to the conclusion that our bodies are bad, sex is bad, and we are all bad by nature. Where did we go wrong? If you read the Bible from the very beginning, we are good! Check out Genesis 1:26-27, 30-31:

And he said: “Let us make Man to our image and likeness. And let him rule over the fish of the sea, and the flying creatures of the air, and the wild beasts, and the entire earth, and every animal that moves on the earth.” And God created man to his own image; to the image of God he created him; male and female, he created them. And so it became. And God saw everything that he had made. And they were very good.

Do you see the emphasis I added to 'very good'? That is because, with every other creation, God said it was good, but when He finished making man (humanity), He said it was VERY GOOD!

So where did this lie come from? Recently, I saw a video* about the Gnostic gospels. I found it very fascinating when I discovered that these 'gospels' and the religion are the main source of heresy in the Christian church. One such heresy is this very idea that we are all 'bad'. We must reject the body, reject sexuality, reject our very selves! What?!? Do you realize what this means? We are created in the Image and Likeness of God. The Image and Likeness... of GOD. God is good, He is perfect. By rejecting our bodies, sexuality, and our very selves, we are rejecting our Creator! Why would we want to do this?? He is good, He is perfect, and He created us in His Image and Likeness!

Take a look in the mirror today. Ladies, I know it can be especially painful for you. But when you look at yourself, I want you to try to look at yourself through the eyes of God. He created you in His Image and Likeness. Gentleman, I can't pretend to know what you see in the mirror as men, but if it is painful, try to do the same as I have instructed the ladies. But no matter how you look at yourself, look with humility. God created you in His Image and Likeness. How much more beautiful can you get?

You deserve all the love, respect, and dignity that God intended for you. Don't reject it just because the world tells you that are not worth it. I know it can be a challenge, I've believed the lie that I had no value. But God has revealed to me the Truth, the sacrifice He made through His Son is the Truth. And it is this: that we are made for God. Therefore, we have value, we deserve all the love, respect, and dignity we receive from Him. He wants to give us mercy, forgiveness, redemption, fulfillment, and life. All we have to do is want it and ask Him for it!

How much do you want this life?

You are Loved!


*Lost Gospels or False Gospels - The Truth About the "Other Gospels" and Early Christianity with EWTN's Fr. Mitch Pacwa and more.