October 07, 2010

Into the Desert: October

In the last several years, I've realized that October is a difficult month for me. Perhaps it is because of the changing seasons, warm summers shifting to cool, and sometimes wet, autumns. Often, I find myself running from the inevitable: Summer's end. It's my favorite season of the year, although I like the other three seasons almost as well. Perhaps though, it is more spiritual. In the summer, I rejoice in the sunshine and warm weather. When autumn arrives, however, I welcome it with much less enthusiasm, I am less thankful. Even depressed. Throw into the mix making some tough (and painful) decisions, and Elizabeth is a mess... Thank God for His grace and mercy.
What does this have to do with my journey into the desert? I don't know. Honestly, I'm searching for answers just as much as the rest of you. And funny how, as I type this, the very words I am writing are playing in a song immediately after I type each word. "I'll stop searching for the answers, I'll stop praying for an escape, and I'll trust You God with where I am and believe that You will have Your way" (Britt Nicole). Good song; fully expresses where I am and how I'm feeling right now. God speaks to me through songs a lot.

Guess God is asking (reminding) me to trust Him. It's hard sometimes, you know? Putting my life into the hands of Someone we can't physically see... I mean, we can see signs of Him in all of His creation, especially in each other. So... I guess I'll ask God to carry me through this difficult month and help, rather, teach me to trust Him.

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